Funny Finances

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User Comments:
From Michael Coupar
You should see my silicon futures .....
From Michelle Cooney
Jessica is studying the price of inflation!!!!
From John Murray
Samantha makes sure she keeps abreast of current affairs!!
From Kev F
My biggest assets appear to have gone bust!
From Rob Falconer
They say I've got trustworthy eyes, but nobody ever looks at them!
From Barry Boi
Barry loved dress down Friday so much more now that Doris had joined the company.
From Kevin Honey
No, I'm not in my pyjamas!
From Roger Walter
Inflation was a constant worry.
From graham peers
These are bigger than I imagined....
From Mark
The Footsie is down, chest grin and bare it!
From SkinnyInny
I sometimes have this recurring dream where I get to work and I've forgotten to put my clothes on...
From Dave Devine
Her boyfriend Dave hoped to get a firm hold on what she inherited and the interest was unbelievable.
From Lydia Houghton
Transaction awaiting exchange? No darling, I said, 'transvestite awaiting sexchange.'
From Mike Clark
Darling is that the correct term for them then a Head-and-Shoulders top.
From Mandy Ghest
Thanks for asking, myassets are doing really well thanks!
From ken wilkinson
The new Bra meal service was a big hit with the boys.
From james orme
The rest of the office couldn't quite understand how the junior had worked her way to the top so quickly....all she did was read the newspaper all day long!!
From Sally Bruce
This is great! I've played strip poker before, but never strip markets.
From Sally Bruce
I've just realised that I've got a hole in my drawers. Good job the paper is there!
From tyson fazackerley
The new girl in the office had her knockers but she demostrated she could manage her assets whilst playing footsie under the table with the boss ;)
From Emma Thomas
I have come far since winning Eurovision. Viva la Viva!
From Ellie woodrow
My assets look pretty bouyant although I may be in trouble with over exposure!
From fern martin
Interest rates increase dramatically
From Jaime Fitzsimmons
'If I try and look intelligent and show a little cleavage, I'm sure I'll make a great Big Brother housemate!'
From Bekki Hand
It was embarrassing, but Dave knew he could make her laugh by pulling his pants down.
From Ric
'I said big city tips...TIPS!'
From gerry sullivan
Hasn't she got boney knees ? They stand out!
From Paul Miller
Since Sandra started, there had been no work done on Casual Dress Day at the office.
From Mrs H Field
I can't seem to find my photo on page 3...
From Emily Owen
Sarah gets the wrong idea when her accountant mentions 'assets' and 'bust' in the same sentence...
From Yvonne Jarman
The Figures add up nicely
From Mick Castro
I stuff in the FT daily and I just get bigger and bigger!
From elizabeth stockhill
When Sven mentioned 'shares' I had to check for myself.
From Valérie
And there are no signs whatsoever of a slump in commodities.
From sarah
Ha ha... it's so funny how I thought these specs would help me see this newspaper, only they can't be that good as I couldn't even see where I left my clothes this morning!
From Paul Kelly
She should of gone to specsavers...Instead of going to Anne Summers.
From Scott McFarlane
NHS Nurse holds press conference after John Prescott leaves high dependency unit
From Alan Culley
My portfolio has double digit inflation
From SADIE LEWIS
They say things grow better when they are happier.
From richard berry
God, I need new specs. I thought I was reading the kids' comic then!
From Hannah
Maybe if I put big enough glasses on my boobs might look smaller!
From Craig B
People generally liked Celia but she just had no concept of acceptable dinner party conversation.
From dave twose
If you look through these they look even bigger!
From Heidi Friis
Bet she didn't get that pair in Specsavers!
From Dorothy Marshall
Wow a reply! I'd better ditch the glasses...
From Jenni Brailsford
"Do these make me look intelligent? No seriously, do they show off my best assets??"
From franz schweinsteiger
Pound for pound her commodities stood out from the rest, rising two points.
From Ceri
The DDD principle. Distract, disarm, destroy. Works every time.
From IAN CHEYNE
'How do you like this pair? I got them done yesterday, they're great for reading.'
From martin nelson
What do they mean by extensive frontage?
From David Hamm
'Are you looking at my glasses?'
From Onjer Todd
Now that's Double Digit inflation!
From graham
Hi darling, these broad sheets are so big, and great for keeping abreast of things......
From M Locke
Yes my glasses are rather large, but then I love large things
From al
Italian Chancellor's wife shows no vested interest in current markets.
From stephen
Bored housewives put in motion their plan to get booksmart.
From graham wild
Whilst reading the financial times, stocks and shares page Daphne was dismayed to see the value of melons had gone down.
From Mick
She had worked very hard to get to where she was today.
From Stace Dixon
My assets have just inflated and you didnt think to tell me?
From richard davis
Now that Sven's going to Man City, Nancys' been caught checking out Shinawatras' assets very closely.
From Keith Pankhurst
Very funny - who put the super-glue on my glasses and newspaper?
From Clare
The Footsie 100? Now that sounds like my kind of thing.
From carole robson
Why are women in the workplace never taken seriously?
From Sharon Reed
Who said reading the money section wasn't sexy?
From phillip mcdermott
Female financial expert wanted to take out large endowment.
From Michael
Her assets had been stripped following the stock market crash.
From Jennifer Deavall
Yeah, I don't know why I got the promotion...
From Frances Heaton
We've had a period of high inflation...
From Justine
'WANTED: Asset fund manager. Must have extensive experience handling large accounts and be capable of juggling.'
From darren castle
The airbags that came with the new glasses were very impressive.
From May Kempster
Alan Sugar's latest winner of the Apprentice raises more than just eyebrows...
From g wood
Nancy really does have a good head for figures.
From Greg Martin
All this and brains too!
From Wendy E Murray
My investments have been severely enhanced and inflated.
From Mark Inman
The job interview was a great success...